A Song For Christmas

(Sung to the tune of, "Here Comes Santa Claus")

Here comes Santa Claus
Stinkin' Santa Claus
Screw the "Ho Ho Ho"
Fake beard and suit
Wife thinks it's cute
But man, I hate it so
Kids are asleep
Not making a peep
So why dress up this way?
I've had enough
Of Santa stuff
I'm going to have my say!

Here comes Santa Claus
Lousy Santa Claus
Hairbrush in his sack
Protests as she's
Pulled over my knee
It's time to pay her back
Widens her eyes
In big surprise
And tries to put up a fight
She's out of luck
Her skirt's pulled up
Yeah, this nonsense ends tonight!

Here goes Santa Claus

Damn right, Santa Claus

Laying down the law

Swats so firm

She kicks and squirms

She just might be in awe

Hairbrush swinging

Bottom stinging

Think she's seen the light

The battle's won

But I'm not done

Yeah, Santa Claus is spanking tonight!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everybody!!!