Thursday, January 28, 2010

Naughty Is Nice

This picture, while probably familiar to many of you, is definitely one of my favorites--and not just because it features a cute blond with a bare bottom (although that helps):

Rather, it's the message on the chalkboard that resonates with me. That sort of attitude is exactly what a lot of spankers are looking for!

Let's face it--some people are perfectly happy with just asking for a spanking. That works for many spankers and spankees. But there are spankees who don't like going that route. If they're going to be spanked, by golly, they're going to do something to earn it! So they act up, or act out, or play the "brat", just waiting for that moment when they get caught and are taken in hand. It adds a certain something extra to the whole "crime and punishment" scenario. There's whatever deed they commit, then being found out, followed by the scolding and lecturing, possibly some corner time, and all of it building up to that stomach-churning moment when they're placed over a knee and the spanks start to fall.

There's always been one small problem with that scenario--namely, if the spanking is effective and they really do learn their "lesson"--pretty soon there will be no reason to spank them anymore! And that would be rather boring in the long run.

And that's why I applaud the attitude this young lady's message displays. Yes, she's been a bad girl. Yes, she'll accept what she has coming to her. But once that's over--that naughty streak still lingers on and may come out at any moment! And then the whole process begins again.

I think spankers and spankees alike would agree--we wouldn't want it any other way!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

This is CNN???

I had just made a trip to my locker at the place where I work, and as I was leaving I passed throught the break room. The TV was on and tuned to CNN. The show and the host were unfamiliar to me--I don't watch CNN that early in the day (or that often, for that matter).

As I walked past the TV on the way to my work area, he started a story with the following words:

"It isn't often that a snowstorm strands thousands of people......"

I stopped dead in my tracks, looked at the screen, and thought, "You've never been in a snowstorm your entire life, have you, you dumb @$!%?"

'It isn't often'??? It happens every winter in all the states that get snow! There are always several really good storms--or "blizzards" (it's not just a treat at Dairy Queen)--in the East and the Midwest and elsewhere that make travel impossible and close airports leaving thousands of people with delayed or cancelled flights. I've got some 'news' for that guy--it really isn't as rare as he seems to think!

Of course, his next 'item' was--of all things--a tweet from the Twitter account of Sarah Palin.

I'm sorry--this is news???? A tweet that probably was written by some staff member of Ms. Palin's? What's next? "We have breaking news! According to a tweet from Ashton Kutcher, "Demi Moore--still hot!"

Geez--stop the freakin' presses!!

Apparently CNN has decided to hire idiots to fill up the on-air hours, and "CNN" now officially stands for "Crappy News Nutjob".

Well, that's enough of a rant for one day. Besides, all this talk about snowstorms is a good excuse to post these photos.......

Any snowbound ladies want their bottoms warmed up?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Tasha Lee's Free E-Book

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Monday, January 18, 2010

Haitian Relief Effort

By now, we all have heard about the horrific earthquake in Haiti. Estimates put the possible dead as high as 150,000 people. Bodies are being stacked in the street, being picked up by bulldozers, placed in dumpsters, and carted away to mass graves.

Food is scarce. Water is scarce. The survivors need as much help and aid as they can get.

Former President Bill Clinton has said that the best thing most Americans can do to help is to write a check and donate money. That's what is needed for the relief effort.

In this day and age, the easiest way to do this is to take out your cell phone. Text the word "Haiti" to 90999. $10 will be added to your phone bill, and that money will go to the Red Cross to be used in the Haitian Relief effort.

Please do your best to help.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Happy Two-Year!!

First Lady: "Hey, it's the two-year blogiversary of Spanking Minnesota! Do you think Dr. Ken has anything special planned to celebrate?"

Second Lady: "Special plans? Well, let's're standing in the corner, and I'm bent over the back of this sofa. Yeah, I think he has something in mind!!"

That's right, everybody. It was exactly two years ago today that I was sitting in front of my computer and suddenly decided, "Hey, I bet I could write my own blog!"

What the hell was I thinking? :-)

Seriously, I want to thank everybody who's gone along on this ride with me--those who lurk, those who comment, those who've only been here once, those that come here again and again. I've had a blast, and I'm not done yet!

I'd like to say that I really am going to celebrate the way the opening of this post suggests, but the truth of the matter is, I'm probably going to pop open a Coke Zero and go play "Left 4 Dead" on my Xbox 360. Life doesn't always match up to the fantasy.....

....but there's always hope that someday, it will.

And I'll be sure to blog about it when it does!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Radio Spanko--On The Air!

My favorite radio station is at it again.

If you look back through my archives, you'll come across various posts and references to what I call "Radio Spanko". It's actually FM 107.1 here in the Twin Cities. I began listening to the station simply because it was one of the few that my radio was able to pick up in the building where I work. After listening for a while, I noticed one of the afternoon co-hosts making a little spanking reference here and there. She did it enough times that i wrote about it and dubbed the station, "Radio Spanko." Now whenever I hear her make a new reference, I put it up here on the blog.

But she's not the only one who's done it. The last time I wrote about Radio Spanko, it was a comment from an early morning show hosted by husband and wife Ian and Margery.

And the little radio "startles" have kept right on coming. On the Jason and Alexis show, host Jason Matheson on occasion will say something like, "Well, smack my butt and call me Charlie", and his co-host, Alexis Thompson, invariably responds, "Bend over." Jason has never commented or called Alexis out on it--it might be funny if he did!

I heard the latest one today.

Once again, it came from the Ian and Margery show. The dialogue that follows is not verbatim--I'm attempting to recreate it from memory, so it's bound to be a little off, but it's close enough.

Margery apparently managed to get a ticket, and she and Ian were talking about it on the air.

Margery: Maybe it's my Catholic guilt talking, but I feel like I deserved that $111 ticket.

Ian: Couldn't you get the ticket waived, and just say 5 Hail Mary's instead?

Margery: In my world view....I deserve to be punished.

Ian: I'll give you a spanking, you get the ticket waived and say 5 Hail Mary's, and then I'll say 3 Hail Mary's for giving you a spanking!

Margery: I'll let the judge spank me, how about that?

Ian: This is my life....

The fun thing about this exchange is the fact that the radio station took this snippet of conversation and is using it as a promo for the Ian and Margery show, so it gets played over and over again throughout the day!

Catching a spanking reference when you least expect it is so much fun.....

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Another Look At Birthday Spankings

My previous post on birthday spankings was a positive--or perhaps optomistic--look at the practice. The fact remains, however, that not everyone likes or is in favor of birthday spankings. Somewhat to my surprise, some of the people who don't like it are spankos themselves!

For me, any excuse to spank is a good excuse. And there's always the possibility that a birthday spanking to a vanilla lady just might awaken her inner spanko. I figure that's a win-win situation.

But--spankos who don't like birthday spankings???

It's true. Let's take a female bottom who is turning 25. The reaction from Tops is usually along the lines of, "You mean I can only spank her 25 times and then have to stop?!? That's not even a good warm-up!" I can see their point. And--after seeing pictures of some of the ladies receiving their birthday swats--I must confess that I'd prefer to spank them for 25 minutes rather than quit at the count of 25. Even adding the usual "one to grow on, and one for luck" doesn't seem like enough.

As for the birthday spankee, the argument goes, "Spank me for something I did. Spank me for something I should have done but didn't. But I have no desire to be spanked just for being born!"

I'm still a proponent of the birthday spanking, but I can certainly see why some people refuse to participate in the traditional celebration.

And on the Vanilla side--

I recently saw photos of some ladies taken after their birthday spankings. I expected pictures of girls rubbing their bottoms with a somewhat "ouchy" expression on their face.

Boy, was I wrong!

These girls had tears in their eyes, were seeking comfort from friends, openly crying--not at all like the "fun" aftermath that I imagined. I couldn't help but look at them and think, "Well, this is just wrong! You shouldn't get this kind of result from a birthday spanking!"

It's not that hard to figure out what must have happened, however.

The average vanilla might get a smack on the bottom now and then, but certainly not enough to where she gets used to it. So, if she's at her birthday party, and one of her friends decides it would be funny to deliver a birthday spanking--she's probably going to make it through that okay.

But if, say, 5 of her friends decide to give her a birthday spanking--one right after another, or all 5 at the same time--then, her poor bottom is not going to be up to the task.

Add in the presence of Demon Alcohol, and one slightly--or not-so-slightly--impaired individual thinking, "Well, it's a spanking, and spankings are supposed to hurt" who then proceeds to spank her like he (or she) is trying to permanently flatten out the birthday girl's round bottom--and it's a recipe for disaster.

It's a birthday party--it's supposed to be a celebration. A birthday spanking should be something light and playful and fun, not reduce the birthday girl to tears!

It should come as no surprise that this vanilla girl comes away from the experience with a very bad opinion of anything to do with spanking, and will want to have nothing to do with it in the future!

In spite of it being a tradition, a birthday spanking clearly isn't for everyone. And if you do plan on giving a birtthday spanking--please, use some common sense and take it easy on the "victim"! If there's going to be more than one spanking given, space them out so there's a chance for the birthday person to recover a little bit. Remember, you're not actually trying to hurt anybody--it's suppossed to be fun. Try to keep it that way!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Mother Goosed

This poem/parody popped into my head a few days ago, exactly as shown here. I didn't even have to work on it or tweak it. It plays off of a nursery rhyme:

Wee Willy Winkie lives on his own

Sits in his house watching spanking porn

Pleasures himself quite often, does he

Which just might explain why his willy is wee.....

Now, where exactly that come from, why it should arrive in my head full-blown, I have no idea. I suspect it might have something to do with the "Whose Line Is It, Anyway?" DVDs that I got for Christmas, but there's no way to know for sure.

The one thing I DO know for sure is that nursery rhymes are very easily converted to little spanking poems, probably because of the very basic rhyme scheme and form. I dare say anyone can do it. As proof of this, I devised three more poems on the drive home from work (which usually takes all of twenty minutes). If I can compose them that fast, anybody can. The hardest part--if you want to call it that--is to figure out where to substitue the word "spank" or "spanking" in the regular poem.

This next one actually contains some practical advice:

Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie

Spanked the girls and made them cry.

He should try a lighter hand--

Might find himself more in demand.

Not every girl, of course, wants you to spank her as hard as you can--especially if they're new to spanking or just naturally have a fairly low tolerence. Varying your technique somewhat can have quite beneficial side-effects. (And yes, I realize that there are, indeed, some ladies out there who want you to go at their bottom with your palm like a jackhammer on cement--but there's still nothing wrong with starting out lighter. If she wants you spank harder, believe me--she has ways of letting you know!)

Here's another one:

Old Mother Hubbard

Went to the cupboard

That's where she kept her school cane

Once she got there

Her daughter stripped bare

And got whacked again and again.

I mean, seriously--this stuff practically writes itself.

Think of the nursery rhyme, "Little Jack Horner". Now think of the rhyme "Little Miss Muffett." Now say them one after another and you'll see that, in rhyme scheme and form, they are virtually identical. Little Jack and Little Miss lastname are sitting somewhere eating food. Bam, there's your first three lines for two different poems.

Of course, the end result is different. Jack desecrates his pie with his thumb and thinks he's being a good boy. Miss Muffett is frightened by a spider and runs away. From this we learn that men often reward themselves for crass and churlish behavior, and women are easily scared things that need protecting. Back in Mother Goose's day, that was probably a pretty standard message.

These days, of course, it would be a little bit different--

Little Miss Muffett

Sat on a tuffet

Eating her curds and whey

Along came a spider

That sat down beside her

And Little Miss Muffett stomped the bejeezus out of it.

And as for our boy Jack, well--that's the last poem I came up with:

Little Jack Horner

Stood in the corner

For a half hour or more

Once he got free

He went over her knee

And, boy! Did his bottom get sore!

If you'd like to try your hand at a spanking nursery rhyme, feel free to post it as a comment.
I look forward to reading your efforts!

And, of course, if you don't want to write a parody--normal comments are always welcome, too!

Monday, January 4, 2010


There's a very good reason these ladies are getting ready to drop their pants.....

....because just about an hour ago or so, this blog went over the 400,000 hit mark! Woo-hooo!!

I want to thank everybody who comes here on a regular basis to check for new content. I want to thank all of the people following the blog, including the 4 newest followers. I'm very happy to have you join me here! I'm still having fun doing this--spanking AND blogging, that is--and you hope you join in the fun!

My two-year blogiversary is still a couple of weeks off, and that will be another reason to celebrate. I thought about waiting and combining the two celebrations, but the heck with that idea! Never pass up the opportunity for some celebratory spanking, I always say!

So, ladies, drop the jeans and bend over! Let's see, that'll be 100,000 each......

Okay, that's probably a bit much. Give me time....I'll figure something out!


I've updated the link for the site, The Spanking Universe. It should work now. This is a great place to check for updates of your favorite blogs--not to mention a great place to possibly find some new favorites!

And speaking of new--one of my new followers is Lil Sam, who has her own blog called lil sams. The link is up and added to the blog roll on the right. Go and take a look at it, and leave her a comment saying, "Hi!".

And, of course, tell her Dr. Ken sent you. :-)

Friday, January 1, 2010

Merry Spankings to all.......

.....and to all, a Happy New Year! May the year be filled with wonderful people and many wonderful spankings!