Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Latest Trend

I have some good news to share with Dave of The Cherry Red Report--

According to Hollywood fashionistas, the latest trend is actually a come-back--the short-shorts, or jeanshorts, or--as they're better known--Daisy Dukes!

I know Dave will be thrilled. There's a reason there's a blog called The Daisy Dukes Report.

Apparently, they were first spotted a few weeks back on the very leggy Cameron Diaz --

Since then, many more female celebrities have been stuffing their curvy, spankable behinds into these shorts--celebrites such as Beyonce, Vanessa Hudgens, Kate Bosworth, Jennifer Aniston, and Sienna Miller, to name a few.

(I have, in fact, seen a photo of Sienna Miller (picture above) wearing a pair of the short-shorts with boyfriend Jude Law staring in appreciation. Can't say I blame him.)

The one star who has said she absolutely will not wear them?

Jessica Simpson!

Having worn them while playing Daisy Duke in that mess of a movie based on the TV show, The Dukes of Hazzard, she feels that the shorts are more of a costume than an actual fashion choice, and isn't planning on donning a pair any time soon. In a way, that's too bad--I could argue that Jessica Simpson's bottom encased in a pair of Daisy Dukes was the best thing in that entire movie!

Anyway, I can't wait for the warmer weather of Summer to arrive. We should get tons of photos of actresses rocking this style!

Speaking as a Spanker, I'd say that's a good thing......

Friday, April 23, 2010

TV Surprises

I watch a lot of TV. I mean, a lot!

When I'm at work, I'm able to listen to my radio via a headset nearly the entire time I'm there. I'm usually tuned to my favorite Talk Radio station, or to the Minnesota Twins baseball game. I can practically do my job in my sleep, so having the radio on is not a distraction.

And when I get home-- I'm not married, I'm not seeing anyone, and I have no one to spank on a regular basis (going to the Chicago Crimson Moon spanking parties twice a year does not qualify as a "regular basis")--the desire for some form of entertainment is high on the list. That's where the TV comes in.

I have a tendency to record TV shows to watch later on, and the number of shows to watch can pile up rather quickly. I'm almost always lagging 3 weeks behind. This actually suits me just fine. It means that, late at night, when the cable stations are nothing but 70 channels of infomercials, I've got a primetime program I can watch.

The downside to this, of course, is....well, I'm 3 weeks behind. And when it comes to some programs, I don't want to know what happened "last night". And woman who tries to tell me what happened in the series finale of Ugly Betty or what Locke did last night on Lost will have her bottom introduced to the hard flat back of a hairbrush very quickly.

I do all of this radio listening and TV watching for entertainment, of course. But as an extra added bonus, I will occasionally come across something about spanking that I can tell you about here on my blog. So, on the plus side, I get material to write about. On the down sidie, once again, is the fact that if I see or hear something on a TV show to tell you about, it happened 3 weeks ago, and you've probably already seen it for yourself, or heard any one of 57 other blogs out there write about it, and Chross probably already has a video clip of it in his archives.

(That last one, by the way, is not a bad thing--it means that you can go see it for yourself rather than rely on my faulty memory to recreate the dialogue and tell you what happened.)

All of this is a rather long-winded explanation to let you know why I'm reporting on a few TV "startles" several weeks after they were actually on the air, as opposed to writing about them right after they happened and everything was fresh and new in my memory.

The first bit happened on the CBS show, Two And A Half Men". Chiropractor Alan Harper (played by Jon Cryer) is in his office, seeing an older but attractive patient who is complaining of back pain. He has her get up on what looks like a massage table, and he begins kneading her back. The lady begins to moan--and not from pain. As he continues to work on her back, she tells him that no one has touched her like that since she divorced her husband. Alan keeps trying to work, the lady's moans continue until she's practically drumming the air with her hands, and she suddenly commands, "Spank me!"

Caught by surprise, Alan says, "What?" (It's about at this point that the camera goes from the interior of the office to the reception area, where the new receptionist is overhearing everything.)

We hear the lady again say, "Spank me!" Alan tries to protest only to have the lady yell out, "Spank my lonely ass!" And then we hear some very distinctive smacking noises that we're probably all very familiar with. The camera is focused on the receptionist, who does a wonderful job os underplaying her reaction to what is happening, letting the bizarreness of the situation carry the comedy. The noise stops, the lady leaves the office promising to be back next week, and Alan is left awkwardly trying to talk to the receptionist as she just stares at him. He finally gives her someof the money the client gave him (hopefully buying her silence, I'm sure) and might have even offered her the rest of the day off.

Subsequent meetings with this client are referred to throughout the rest of the episode, although none are shown and I believe no further reference to spanking is made.

As a nice tag at the end of the show, we see the client once again leaving Alan's office, and Alan is once again left caught in an uncomfortable stare from the new receptionist. He once again tries to offer her something, but the receptionist comes up with a counteroffer--she wants the same kind of "treatment" that the previous client got! (I wonder if that included the spanking?)

A second startled occurred during a 30-second spot for an upcoming new show on NBC called, "Romantically Challanged", starring Alyssa Milano. During the montage of clips from the show that made up the ad, there's a scene between two men. The first is asking about the other's date the previous night, and the second man tells him it went fine, although the girl does have one small "quirk".

The camera immediately cuts to a shot of him sitting on the sofa, while his date stands to his left, somewhat bent at the waist, her hands braced on the sofa arm, and she's saying, "Tell me I've been a bad girl and spank me!"

As it was just an ad, I've no idea if he actually did spank her or not, and if he did, was any of it shown.

I'll let you know in about 3 weeks. :-)

Saturday, April 17, 2010

A Written Invitation, Part 2

This might literally be topping from the "bottom"...........

I like the helpful illustrations of palm prints on the first two pictures--you know, just in case you have trouble interpreting what "spank me" might mean. And since I'm a firm believer in "the more, the merrier", I strongly applaud the group effort shown in the last photo. (Well, at least, it might sound like applause.) The birthday girl's sign reads, "Spank me, it's my birthday!", and her entourage are wearing signs that read, "Spank me, it's my friend's birthday!" All for one and one for all and everybody bend over.......

Thursday, April 15, 2010

It's Tax Time

"Are you sure this is normal procedure for an I.R.S. audit??"

(It's April 15th, folks--be sure to file your income tax forms before midnight!)

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Photo Caption Fun

"..........and THAT'S how you grip a bowling ball."

(Jennifer Aniston (center) and Gerard Butler (right, in the cap) greet fans in Paris while on a junket for their film, "The Bounty Hunter". Gerard Butler's left hand is apparently starring in it's own film--"The Booty Hunter"!)

Friday, April 9, 2010

Bad Romance

I think my feelings about the subject of the photo in this post can best be summed up by repeating some of the deep, meaningful and insightful lyrics of one of her songs:


"Rah Rah-ah-ah-ah




It's enough to make me wish Lady Gaga had called her second album, "The Spank Monster".......

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Nothin' Says Lovin' Like Something From The Oven....

Baseball season is once again upon us. I've spent a part of the last two nights at work with my radio tuned to the Minnesota Twins games, and each night I've heard a radio commercial that brought a smile to my face.

The ad is for Village Hearth bakery products. They make hamburger and hot dog buns, as well as various loafs of bread. You can likely find their products in your grocery store. I know for a fact that I recently bought a couple packages and have them here at home.

But, back to the ad.....

I didn't smile at the fact that the product is actually made locally in St. Cloud. I had no idea they were a Minnesota company, although in retrospect it's nice to know that I'm supporting an in-state business.

And I didn't smile when they told me that for years the hot dog vendors used Village Hearth prodocts at the old (and, I assume, will continue to use at the new) stadium.

No, what made me smile was the tag line, where the female announcer concluded the ad by saying:

"Village Hearth. Get your hands on their buns."

Now, that's a sentiment I can get behind.....

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter!

Remember, there's only one rule for Easter:

Anyone getting a spanking on Easter gets chocolate.

It seems reasonable to me.....

Thursday, April 1, 2010

NOT an 'April Fool's' post

Jennifer Aniston went on vacation back in February, which means she indulged in what certainly seems to be a favorite activity--donning a bikini and sunning by the pool. This means, of course, that the paparazzi indulged in their favorite activity--taking photos of Jennifer Aniston in a bikini and sunning by the pool.

The result is the following photo. Spankers everywhere, brace yourselves:

If you call yourself a spanker, and that picture did not make you go, "Wow!" or "Oh, yeah!" or "ooooooOOOOOO!" or some other appreciative noise--turn in your membership card and leave. Now.

Jennifer has been on my "Celebrities I would like to spank" fantasy list ever since Friends was on the air. At times she's even been my #1 choice. Other times she's fallen further down the list. And just when I think that maybe she's fallen out of the Top Ten, a picture like this comes along and she zooms back up into the top spot.

I saw her latest movie, The Bounty Hunter, a couple of days ago. It's not the world's greatest movie, and it certainly isn't going to win any Acadamy Awards. The critics haven';t been that kind to it, and I've even heard people who have only seen the previews say, "It looks TERRIBLE!" As for myself, I thought it was a cute-enough romantic comedy and a pleasant way to spend a couple of hours during a week of vacation. The lady is still lovely to look at. Handcuffs are involved in several scenes, if that's your sort of thing. And I think her co-star, Gerard Butler, even gives her a smack on the bottom in one scene. I couldn't really tell, though. In the scene, he's thrown her over his shoulder and is walking back to his car. The camera is shooting his right side, and he's turning and moving around a few things as he's walking, and at one point it looks like he swings his left hand up to apply a light spank to her bottom--but since he's moving and it happens on the side away from the camera, I couldn't say for certain if he did or not.

I hope he did. That bottom deserves to be spanked.