Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Day Six

On the sixth day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Six of the best

Five Mason Pearson hairbrushes

Four fur-lined cuffs

Three martinets

Two butt plugs

And a hand-spanking over his knee.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Day Five

On the fifth day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Five Mason Pearson Hairbrushes

Four fur-lined cuffs

Three martinets

Two butt plugs

And a hand-spanking over his knee.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Day Four

On the fourth day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Four fur-lined cuffs

Three martinets

Two butt plugs

And a hand-spanking over his knee.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Day Three

On the third day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Three martinets

Two butt plugs

And a hand-spanking over his knee

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Day Two

On the second day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Two butt plugs

And a hand-spanking over his knee.

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Twelve Days Of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
A hand-spanking over his knee.

A not-so-brief note:

I got the idea to do a spanking-oriented version of The 12 Days of Christmas early in December. I knocked out the first 7 verses during a lunch hour at work. When I went home that night, I looked up the lyrics to the real song on-line, since I couldn't remember all the later verses. I like to see the original when I'm doing these songs. Sometimes the real lyrics will help suggest what my lyrics should be. In this case, it was, "Hmmm, okay, 'lords a-leaping'. So maybe a gift that begins with 'L' ". I couldn't do that with every verse, but it gave me a place to start.

Even as I was starting to jot down ideas for this parody, I was thinking to myself, "You KNOW that other people must have done this before. With all the blogs out there, someone else in the spanking community must have knocked this out." Since then, I've seen at least two other versions. Interestingly enough, they all start out with pretty much the same idea in the first verse--the first gift involves going OTK.

When you think of gifts for spankos, you naturally think of the various implements and accessories that are sometimes used. That's the way I went, and so did the other versions. As I looked at them, I noticed that in some cases we even had the same implement on the same day and, at least once, we had the same thing word for word. I briefly considered changing mine, then decided not to do it. Some form of duplication was probably unavoidable.

So, over the next twelve days, you'll get my version. The actual 12 Days of Christmas begin on Christmas Day and run through January 5th, the eve of Epiphany--so, I'm a day late in starting mine. In the long run, I don't think it makes any difference.


Thursday, December 25, 2008

Holly Happydays!

Merry Christmas to one and all!

This picture is an old one that has been around seemingly forever. Still, it's a favorite of mine, so I'm going to use it anyway.

For many of us, Christmas is like this picture--it's a time we can surround ourselves with something old, something familiar, something comfortable. Millions of people travel and go back home for this holiday--something they don't do any other time of year. It's a chance to reconnect with friends, with family--a chance to reconnect with that inner child. It's a time to relive all the old family holiday tradtions that hold happy memories for all of us.

I could have easily told you weeks ago how my Christmas Eve was going to go. The family would all go to my Mother's place. A number of us would play cards or play board games, with my mother disappearing every now and then into the kitchen to make sure the food was coming along as it should. One final game--maybe some double or triple solitaire--and then dinner would be served. It would almost be an instant replay of the Thanksgiving dinner one month before--Turkey, stuffing, mashed potates, sweet potates, cranberry sauce, dinner rolls, a salad and some kind of vegetable--corn, most likely.

After dinner, we'd clean up, and then go into the living room and open presents. We open all the presents on Christmas Eve--no need to hold anything back for Christmas day. Then it would be off to church for a late night service. When we returned, we'd gather at the kitchen table for cookies and coffee (or cider, or milk). Once done, we'd all say our goodnights and head back to our own abodes.

Did it happen pretty much exactly that way? Yes. Was I at all disappointed by the fact? No, not in the slightest. That's the way we do Christmas Eve in my family. It's our tradition. It's like being wrapped in a warm security blanket. That's what makes the holidays such a joyous occasion, and why we do it year after year after year.

If your facing the holidays alone, however, it's the lack of these things that make the season so difficult. You get none of the camraderie or companionship, none of the sense of anticipation. It's hard to capture the joy of the season when you feel like you're all by yourself.

But--it's the Christmas celebration. And that means that you are NOT alone.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given.......And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Fater, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6)

You are never alone.

May the promise of Christmas leave you eagerly awaiting each brand new day in the coming year.

May the comfort of Christmas wrap its arms around you and keep you cozy and warm.

May the peace of Christmas settle upon you like a silent snowfall.

This is my wish for all of you out there. Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Santa's Tawse Is Going To Town

Well, boys and girls, it's almost Christmas Eve, and you know what THAT means! That's right, it's time for another Spanko Christmas Carol. This time, it's sung to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.'



Oh, you should have watched out
You know that you should
Now you're bent over
And getting it good

Santa's Tawse is going to town

He checked his list
Your name's on it twice!
Now it's "pants down"
And you're paying the price

Santa's Tawse is going to town

Each girl elf in his workshop
Knows Santa's strong right arm
They know their work had best not stop
Or he'll do their bottoms harm


You should have watched out
You know that you should
Now you're bent over
And getting it good

Santa's tawse is going to town

There's paddles and canes
In his toy pouch
And ouchity-ouch

Santa's tawse is going to town

He's spanking away
Just like he oughtta
He's making you feel
Like your bum's a pinata

Santa's tawse is going to town

You wish that you could just hop
Into your snug, warm bed
But Santa said he won't stop 'til
Your bottom is bright red


You should have watched out
You know that you should
Now you're bent over
And getting it good

Santa's tawse is going
Your behind is glowing
Santa's tawse is going
To town!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas Songs For.......

I can take absolutely NO credit for this post. I heard it from someone who called in to The Cooper Lawrence Show Friday night, and I have no idea if he wrote it or if he found it somewhere else. The premise of the bit was, "Christmas Songs For Mental Patients". The caller read off a number of them, but I can only remember four. Still, I thought I'd post them here with the hopes you get a chuckle out of them.

Christmas Song For Someone With A Split Personality--

"Do I Hear What I Hear"

Christmas Song For Someone Suffering From Paranoia--

"Santa Claus Is Coming To Town To Get Me"

Christmas Song For Someone With Attention Deficit Disorder--

"Hark The Herald Angels....oooooooooo, a frog! Hey, keys! Shiny!"

And last--

Christmas Song For Someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder--

Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells........

If I remember any more, I'll add them to this post. I hope you found a laugh in there somewhere.....

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Radio Spanko revisited

Back in a post on September 9, I talked about the radio station I listen to at work--FM 107.1. Here in Minnesota, it's where you can find The Cooper Lawrence Show, which I've also talked about in the past. Before Cooper, though, we have The Lori and Julia show--and I speculated that Lori may be something of a secret spanko. I have no direct proof, of course, but I do sometimes wonder about her.

Those thoughts resurfaced last week during an on-air exchange between the two ladies. Julia was starting to go on and on about Oprah coming out and discussing her weight problems--how that really humanized her and you got a hint of the person behind the icon, etc., etc. The only problem was that they had talked about the same thing on the show the day before, and Lori was bored with it, to put it mildly.

Consequently, after Julia threw a few more platitudes Oprah's way, Lori broke in and wondered out loud if the sales of Oprah's magazine were declining, and if that was the reason Oprah was being so confessional--because, she explained, the only time celebrities reveal things about themselves is if they've got something to sell--a new record, a new movie, you name it.

Julia, then, got upset about this cynical view, and the two of them went back and forth for a bit. Julia kept trying to get back to her "Oprah has the same problems as we all do" line, and Lori kept shooting it down, suggesting there had to be an ulterior motive to Oprah's coming out and speaking up about her weight issues. Julia finally just told Lori, "You are being so mean right now."

And Lori started to laugh and replied, "Give me a spanking. I'm being a bad, bad girl".

Shortly thereafter, it was time to stop for some commercials, and this is how they went into the break--

JULIA: We'll be right back after this.

LORI: (laughing) Julia's going to try and turn me over her lap.........and spank me!

JULIA: ...And spank her!

I still don't know if Lori is really a spanko or not--it could just be that she's not averse to a little playful spanking now and then without being totally into it. Whatever the truth is, though--it's fun to listen to!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

A Short P.S.

For those who might wish to learn a little bit more about Bettie Page, I would suggest going to

If you click over to the second page, there is a "Press release: Bettie Page Obituary" that is a quick but excellent overview of her life. There are also other areas--a photo gallery, naturally--that you can browse around in.
I do have a few quibbles with the press release. They refer to Bettie as "falling under the spell" of Paula and Irving Klaw, who shot most of the spanking and bondage photos that she appeared in. It makes them sound like a couple of evil masterminds. By all the accounts that I have read, they all quickly became friends, with Bettie practically being treated as a member of the family.
The other point is when they refer to the photos as "sadomasochistic". The images I've seen are too mild to fall under that category. Bondage, yes--discipline, yes. But I have a hard time thinking of them as S&M.
Below is the last known (to me, anyway) photo of Bettie. At the time, she was 80. That's artist Olivia on the right, with Hugh Hefner holding up a poster of her work that was clearly influenced by the lady on the right--Bettie Page.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Goodbye Bettie Page

Everybody's favorite pin-up, Bettie Page, passed away yesterday. She was 85-years old. She had suffered a heart attack last Friday and had been in intensive care. Actual cause of death is said to be pneumonia.

I think just about everyone who is into spanking is familiar with Bettie. The spanking and bondage photos she shot with Irving Klaw are very well-known, and for many of us, they were the first spanking photos we had ever seen. Irving Klaw used a lot of models in his photos, but there was something about Bettie that stood out and captured our imaginations. Bettie thought that maybe it was her smile.

She may have been right, to a certain extent. Bettie had some acting aspirations that never amounted to anything, but she did know the value of the right facial expression for the situation. I always thought that was one of the things that set her apart from the other models she worked with.

According to Bettie, people were always saying that she was a sexual innovator. Funny thing is, she never thought of her pictures as sexual. She was just doing her work and having fun in front of the camera with friends. She was very free in front of a lens, just letting herself go, throwing herself into whatever the shot may be. She loved the camera, and the camera certainly loved her back.

Whenever I think of Bettie Page, the spanking photos come to mind, of course. But the one photo that stands out in my mind was her Playboy photo when she was Miss January, 1955. Bettie was kneeling at the base of a Christmas tree, hanging some ornaments, with a little red Santa hat on her head--and nothing else. As she reaches out to put an ornament on the tree, she's facing the camera, giving us a big smile and a wink as if she's letting us in on a joke--sort of, "Kind of silly, isn't it? Me, naked, decorating a Christmas tree? But at the same time, isn't this just FUN?"

Of course, there's a little bit of symbolism here that shouldn't be missed. By being under the tree, Bettie--in all her glory--could be seen as being our Christmas present. It was just what we wanted--and clearly, one of the best we ever got.
Goodbye, Bettie Page. You're right--it WAS fun! And God bless you......

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Just a few things....

I've added two new blogs to my "More blogs I read" list. And when I say "new", I mean brand-spankin' new! As in, at most a couple of weeks old.

The first up is The Thoughtful Spanker, the life and times, rants and rambles, stories and pictures that "inspire the spanker within". You gotta love the sound of that--I'm in favor of nourishing your inner spanko.

(Which reminds me a t-shirt I once saw a lady wearing at a Crimson Moon party. It read, "My Inner Child Needs A Spanking!" Thankfully, so did she.....)

The other blog I'm adding is The Secret Life of Andrades Girl. Andrades stopped by here not too long ago and left a very nice comment. I decided to visit her blog and return the favor. Her blog is about a week old at this point, but it's filled with her thoughts and some fiction she's writing. All in all, it shows promise and should make for some interesting reading.

Here's a good chance for you to get in on the ground floor with two fairly new blogs. Go, take a look, and please leave some comments for the authors. Bloggers just love it when you leave comments. Trust me on this one..... :-)

One bit of housekeeping news--I've moved the link to the blog Radha Sutra and put it under the heading, "Blogs I read daily", because--well--because I do! As with all the other blogs under that heading, I'm not saying that they update daily, merely that I find myself checking them every day to see if they've put up any new content because I think they're that good and I enjoy reading them. Besides, she's a Midwestern gal--we Midwesterners have to stick together!

One final bit of nonsense--

There's a radio ad that I've been hearing--possibly a local ad--by some Doctor or clinic (you can see how closely I've been paying attention, can't you?) touting a new liposuction procedure. According to the ad, this new method is better, and a big selling point is that you, as the patient, can undergo the procedure and won't need to be "put to sleep".

Personally, I'm quite happy to discover that death isn't an option.......

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

You Lookin' For ME?

I know I've mentioned this before, but ever since I added a counter to keep track of the number of visitors I get on this blog, I often check out other stats as well--what web sites people were reading prior to coming here, what keywords they entered into a search engine that led them to Spanking Minnesota, the various countries that my readers come stuff like that.

I do get a kick out of the keywords.....and if you've ever read Bonnie's Keyword Kaos on her blog, My Bottom Smarts, you know that the keywords can be a good source of amusement at times. I get my share of standard searches--Spanking Pixie and Spanking Sarah Gregory almost always show up. I've talked about both sites often enough, so a search for them is bound to include my blog in some capacity. I still get many variations of "Buffy" keywords--"Buffy spanking Willow", "Buffy spanking Cordelia", "Sarah Michelle Gellar spank". The old standby, "Spanking Halle Berry" still draws them in, too. ("Spanking Salma Hayek" hasn't been nearly as popular--yet!--but I'm holding out hope.) :-)

Some of the keywords are a Unorthodox? Maybe the best word is "different". For example, one of the keyword searches last night was "spanking wailing kicking mom".

Sounds to me like someone has some issues......

Personally, I have nothing against the spanking and the wailing, but I'm telling you right now-- anyone trying to kick mom is in for the spanking of their life!

Anyway, I checked the keyword stats tonight and got a pleasant surprise. For what I believe is the first time in the history of this blog, the number 1 keyword that people entered in their searches was.........."dr ken minnesota".

Ah, fame!

Probably gonna have to change my phone number now.........