Thursday, December 30, 2010

Spankable Celebs -- # 3

The first two entries on my Spankable Celebs were Jennifer Aniston and Halle Berry. They are, by no means, newcomers to the list. In fact, their names have been on the list many times before. Heck, Jennifer's name started showing up during her Friends days, and she's been a staple ever since.

So, I think it's time we add a few new names to the list--younger actresses who were flying below the Spanko radar until recently. It's always good to find new candidates to spank, don't you think? And number three, at age 20, is almost certainly the youngest lady on the list.

Hermione needs a good spanking.

I'm not referring to the author of the marvelous blog, Hermione's Heart. Well, actually, she DOES need a good spanking--probably several--but her husband does an excellent job of seeing to that. No, I'm referring to that annoying Miss-Know-It-All of the Harry Potter franchise, Hermione Granger.

Spankable Celeb number 3 is Emma Watson.

Over the past ten years, we have quite literally watched this young actress grow up on the silver screen. And somewhere around Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, it started to become apparent that this young lady was going to be a real stunner once she hit legal age. Nothing I've seen so far has made me change my mind.

Admittedly, her presence on this list has more to do with the character she's portrayed so wonderfully through all those movies than the real-life Emma--but spankable is spankable, and that's enough reason right there.

I imagine some people are having a hard time picturing the gangly teenage Miss Granger as a candidate. That's why I--as always--have included some pictures.

The first picture is from a magazine photo shoot. Hair and make-up show off her beauty, and the frilly flouncy thing she's wearing should give you a hint that, yes, the young lady is actually quite gorgeous. Anyone having trouble imagining her going over their knee dressed like that? I didn't think so.

The second picture is the standard actress-on-the-beach-in-black-bikini shot. (Hey, it worked for Jennifer Aniston at #1!) As you can see, Emma does indeed have something to spank. She's rounding out those curves quite nicely. Take another look at her in several years and I think you'll be amazed.

The last photo is from the premiere of the latest Potter film. The pixie haircut is quite flattering, and gives her a very impish look, like she's up to no good and probably deserves a good smacked bottom. The sort-of see-through dress is also a wonderful touch. What we see here is a very symbolic cutting of the ties with the role of her childhood, and a young actress ready to begin her transition into older, more adult roles.

Right now, Emma is attending college at Brown here in the states. She's taking the time to be a normal student, lead a normal life. I think that's very smart of her. Technically, she doesn't have to work another day in her life--she is worth somewhere in the range of 45 million dollars, thanks to Harry Potter. But after all that time making those movies, she needs to get away and have a typical teen/young adult existence. Go to school, study, take the tests, go to parties, enjoy a few keggers, take in a few sorority or fraternity bashes. Besides, there's always a few paddles to be found at those places.

As far as I know, she plans to continue with her acting career, so count on seeing more of Emma Watson in the future. And you might be able to take that literally--Emma has indicated that she wouldn't turn down a nude scene, realizing that, for an actress, it's a "part of the job".

Now if we can only talk her into a role that includes a mainstream movie spanking.......

Friday, December 24, 2010

A Song For Christmas

(Sung to the tune of, "Here Comes Santa Claus")

Here comes Santa Claus
Stinkin' Santa Claus
Screw the "Ho Ho Ho"
Fake beard and suit
Wife thinks it's cute
But man, I hate it so
Kids are asleep
Not making a peep
So why dress up this way?
I've had enough
Of Santa stuff
I'm going to have my say!

Here comes Santa Claus
Lousy Santa Claus
Hairbrush in his sack
Protests as she's
Pulled over my knee
It's time to pay her back
Widens her eyes
In big surprise
And tries to put up a fight
She's out of luck
Her skirt's pulled up
Yeah, this nonsense ends tonight!

Here goes Santa Claus
Damn right, Santa Claus
Laying down the law
Swats so firm
She kicks and squirms
She just might be in awe
Hairbrush swinging
Bottom stinging
Think she's seen the light
The battle's won
But I'm not done
Yeah, Santa Claus is spanking tonight!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everybody!!!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

True Grit

My Top Ten List of Spankable Celebs will resume shortly--shortly after Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, in all likelihood. I have a couple of posts I want to get out of the way first. And the first one is the opening of the movie remake, True Grit.

The Minneapolis paper gave it a glowing review, raving about the cinematography and the script, the sure hands of the Cohen brothers at the helm, and the "dazzling" performances by Jeff Bridges in the John Wayne/Rooster Cogburn role along with newcomer Hailee Steinfeld as Mattie Ross, the role first portrayed by Kim Darby. By the accounts I've been reading, young Hailee steals many a scene from her veteran co-stars.

I wrote a little bit about the movie when I first heard they were doing a remake. My first thought, as it is with all remakes, was, "Why?" The second thought, of course, is what would be in the new movie, and what would change. This being a spanking blog, I naturally couldn't help but wonder if the spanking scene would be in the new movie, or left out of the new script. I'm happy to report to all of you that, yes, according to my sources, the spanking scene is in the movie.

(I don't actually have "sources", but it sure sounds impressive, doesn't it?)

In the original movie, Glen Campbell surprised Kim Darby, pulling her from her horse and holding her down on the ground as he broke off a switch from a nearby bush. He then proceeded to belabor her behind until John Wayne stepped in and stopped him, saying that he was "enjoying it too much." I don't have many details on the new scene--obviously, I haven't seen the movie yet--but my understanding is that the spanking this time is a bit more along the lines of traditional OTK discipline with Matt Damon doing the wallopping. (Any ladies with Matt Damon fantasies should line up for the movie as soon as possible.....)

I understand that Hailee wore a protective pad under her skirt during the filming of that scene, so Matt could have spanked through as many retakes as necessary to get the scene right without jeopardizing Hailee's ability to sit down.

So, with at least newspaper's glowing review, and knowing there's a spanking scene in a mainstream movie to enjoy, you just might head out to the theater this holiday weekend.

By the way, check out the movie poster below, especially the advertising tag line across the top. I just might have to crop that and put it across the top of my blog! :-)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Spankable Celebs # 2

The next lady on my Top Ten list of Spankable Celebs has, like Jennifer Aniston, been on the list many times before. She's been called the most beautiful woman in the world, as well as the sexiest woman on the planet. I really can't argue with either assessment. Beautiful and sexy--sounds spankable to me!

Spankable Celeb #2 is Halle Berry.

Why spank Halle Berry?

Why not?

Although, if you really need a reason (other than that it would probably be a lot of fun)--did you ever see Catwoman?

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Spankable Celebs

Why in the world do I live in Minnesota?

Let me tell you what's going on, just in case you don't make a habit of watching The Weather Channel. Close to midnight on Friday it started snowing here, and I'm not sure that it's stopped yet. We had close to a foot of snow on the ground by Saturday afternoon, and the weatherman was saying we could get another 6 inches before it's all over. I can still hear the wind howling outside my window, causing the snow to drift to ridiculous heights. I spent an hour and a half moving my car from in front of my apartment building--the drifts had almost entirely buried the front of the car--into my garage stall. I should have parked in the garage in the first place on Friday night, but I didn't think the snow would get this bad. Needless to say, any and all plans I had for this weekend have gotten cancelled, and I'm not going anywhere until we get plowed out on Monday.

I'm really in the mood to warm the bottom of some nice lady right about now, but that ain't happenin'.

So, I'll settle for the next best thing. It can't beat bottom-warming, but nothing warms my heart quite so much as when Jennifer Aniston goes on vacation, dons one of her (presumably) 365 bikinis, and goes swimming and tanning for all the world and the paparazzi to see.

Photos such as these always move Jennifer to the top of "The List". All you spankos out there know which list I'm talking about. It's the fantasy topic that constantly crops up on spanking message boards: "Celebrities I'd like to spank" (or, depending on your orientation, "Celebrities I'd like to be spanked by).

(I always wrestle with the name of the list. "Celebrities I'd like to spank" doesn't seem to take them into account, and I'm really not in favor of non-consensual spanking. At the same time, the more politically correct, "Celebrities I'd like to spank assuming, of course, that they enjoy the spanking scene as much as I do" is a bit of a mouthful. This post's title, "Spankable Celebs", is probably the best compromise.)

I think it's time for me to re-visit my list. I'm sure some names have dropped off the old list by now, giving way to newer choices. I think I'm going to stick to current celebrities. No movie stars from long ago, such as Marilyn Monroe. And for the most part, no so-called reality "stars"--no annoying Housewives, no Kardashians. There may possibly be one exception, but I'm not sure. I haven't really composed the list yet. I plan for it to be a Top Ten list, although the numbers aren't meant to indicate an order of preference. Number 2 could just as easily be Number 10, and vice versa. I hope I can come up with 10! I mean, I know I can name a ton of actresses, but would they make my "Spankable" list? I'll have to wait and see, I guess.

The lone exception to the "order of preference" rule? Jennifer Aniston really is Number ! on the list!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

"The Tourist" Premiere

Mere seconds before the picture was taken, Brad leaned in and whispered, "As soon as we're alone, young lady, you're going over my knee and the first swat is going to land"

At least, that's what I'd like to believe........

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I Feel A Song Coming On

I may live in Minnesota, but the truth of the matter is, I hate winter. Have I mentioned that?

It's not the cold so much. Heck, cold weather doesn't really bother me. Worst case scenario, I stay indoors and turn up the thermostat.

But the snow, and the ice, and the sleet, and the slush, and the bad driving conditions--in a word, yuck. You can have 'em.

My ideal winter is one where there is a minimum amount of snow, and what snow we do get, melts away in a day or two. We've actually had a few years of that. Some years we'll get a little snow in November, then it goes away, and then the snow doesn't come to stay until about Christmas. I'm all in favor of a Brown Christmas, and a Brown January, February and March don't sound bad, either.

So, wouldn't you know it-we've already had the snowiest November that Minnesota has seen in years, and then tonight, when I get off of work to drive home, what is it doing? That's right--snowing. I drove slowly and carefully, and made it home safely, thank goodness. But I may not stick my nose out of the apartment until Monday.

So, what does all this weather bring to mind? Christmas, of course.

And what does Christmas bring to mind? Christmas songs.

And, if you've read this blog for any amount of time, you now that, for me, songs bring to mind song parodies, usually with a spanking twist thrown in for good measure. I haven't done one for a long time, so I'm going to keep it simple--just one verse. This is to be sung to the tune of,
"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas":

It's beginning to look a lot like your ass

Is in trouble deep

Take a look at the mess you made

The way that you've misbehaved

The time has come to spank your bum, my sweet

It's beginning to look a lot like your ass

Will pay for your crimes

And the loveliest sight I'll see

Is your bottom 'cross my knee

And then Corner Time

(First photo courtesy of Red Charls, second photo taken from around the web. My apologies to those who don't like the word, "ass", but in this case, it was the word that fit the best for my purposes)