Tuesday, August 28, 2012

In The Raw

  Has anyone else seen this commercial for a product called, "In The Raw"?

  I confess that I was paying no attention to the TV at all when the commercial started, so I'm not even sure what the product is.  I believe it's a sugar substitute or a "healthier" form of sugar,  I could be totally wrong about that, of course.

  Anyway, the commercial has a husband and wife meeting in the kitchen for that morning cup of coffee. Fully caffinated and sugared, they launch into one of those elaborate handshake routines, full of hand slaps, knuckle bumps, finger play, wrist and arm motions, each person mirroring the other's movements.  It goes on for several seconds.

  Once concluded, the wife starts to go on her way.  As she walks past her husband, though, he has one last hand movement for her--he gives her a good "healthy" (that word again) smack on the behind!  She turns back and gives him a look that's part surprise, part smile.  The husband?  You know HE'S smiling!

  The whole thing is shot from about the waist up, so you never see the swat land, and--cynic that I am--I imagine that the sound of the smack was enhanced in post-production.  Still, I enjoyed it for what it was.  You just don't see that sort of thing--commonly referred to as a "one-whacker"--in many commercials.

  Part of me, I must admit, wonders if this isn't a side-effect of what I refer to as "The Greying of America"--which is to say, a reaction to the popularity of the FIFTY SHADES OF GREY books.  You know that advertisers are well aware of the books existence on the best-seller lists.  And while they're not likely to show us a couple sipping coffee in their dungeon, a little bit of spanking?  Yeah, they could probably incorporate that.

  I doubt that we're going to wind up seeing it in every commercial, but it wouldn't surprise me if it became a little more frequent, on ads and on shows and movies.


  Speaking of "one-whackers", there are four of them in the movie, MIRROR, MIRROR, the movie with Julia Roberts that is supposed to be a comedic take on the Snow White story.

  The movie is enjoyable, but hardly great.  I had the feeling that they were never sure exactly how much of a comedy they wanted it to be, so it goes from moments of pure farce to more conventional comedy and even to a few very dramatic moments.

  Sadly, none of the smacks are delivered to Julia Roberts.  All four of them delivered to the seat of Snow White, played by Lily Collins.

  The first occurs after Snow White has been taken in by the Seven Dwarves.  In this movie, they aren't miners.  They're actually seven thieves, and now that Snow White is one of them, they go about teaching her the various skills she'll need.  One of those skills is swordfighting.  During a montage, we see her working on all the tricks of the craft.  In one fencing scene, she lunges off-balance and falls flat on her face--and her teacher whacks the seat of her skirt with his blade.

  The other three swats come during a swordfight between Snow and the Prince.  The Prince is clearly the better swordsman, and during their battle he takes the opportunity to whack her bottom with his sword blade three different times.  Finally, having disarmed her, he tells her to yield, "Or haven't you learned enough from your spankings?"

  I wouldn't recommend renting the movie just for those scenes, but if you're going to wind up watching it anyway, you at least have a few moments to look for.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Fairy Tale Gone Bad

This is a true story that happened in Norway.

A family of bears broke into a cabin in Norway.  They ate all the food, drank about 100 beers, and knocked down a wall of the cabin in the process.

I think we all knew it was only a matter of time before they extracted their revenge for Goldilocks........

Thursday, August 16, 2012

A Brief Conversation (OT)

"You know, I............"


"Isn't that strange!  I just completely forgot what I was going to say!"

"Could it have been, "I wonder what happened to my bathing suit?"

"Oddly enough, no.  I wonder why my mind blanked out like that?"

"You've been possessed by aliens?"

"That's the answer you go to?  Alien possession?"

"Alien possession would knock all of your thoughts out of your head and replace them with their thoughts.  And aliens don't wear bathing suits, either."

"I have NOT been possessed by aliens!"

"That's exactly what a human possessed by an alien would say."

"Trust me....that's not it."

"They'd say that, too."

"Oh, for heaven's sake!  I have not been possessed!!"

"Okay, now I'm inclined to believe you, 'cause I'm pretty sure an alien would have no concept of 'heaven'."

"Oh?  Are you saying that all aliens are godless heathens?"

"Well....no.  But I imagine they have their own deity that they worship."

"I wonder what they call him...or her....or it....."

"Something strange, I"m sure, like.....the Great....Barfini or something."


"Sure.  'The Great Barfer in the Sky, from whom all alien life on their planet spewed forth after a weekend binge of bad seafood."

"That's disgusting."

"The Great Barfini cares not what you think...."

"You're going to stick with that name, are you?"

"First thing that came to my mind."

"Barfini?  So the alien deity is....what?.... Italian?"

"Oh, good thinking!  Yes!  And that's why the aliens are out there flying through space.  They're seeking their deity!"

"So why come to Earth?"

"Because that's where Italy is!"

"This is probably the strangest conversation I've had this week....."

"It's only Thursday.  Give it time...."

Friday, August 10, 2012

Up Or Down

The Eternal Struggle.....

...But I think we all know the inevitable outcome of this battle.....

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Seat Of Learning

  From the look of things, I'd say this young lady just learned what her tutor will do to her if he deems her homework "unsatisfactory"..........

Friday, August 3, 2012

A Big Decision

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.