Saturday, August 30, 2008

Things I Learned On The Cooper Lawrence Show

Work is boring. That's not one of the things I learned, as suggested by the title of this post. It just is. And I've known that for some time.

That's why I listen to the radio at work. It definitely makes the time go faster. I used to sit at work and listen to the AM sports talk station, and whenever there was a Minnesota Twins baseball game or a Minnesota Timberwolves basketball game on, I'd listen to that. If nothing was really grabbing my attention, I'd go to some FM music stations.

That was great up until about a year ago, when management decided to move our work area from the front of the building to the back of the building.

I discovered the very first night in the new area that tuning in to the sports talk station produced nothing but static and little tiny voices in the background. Pretty much unlistenable. The baseball game was white noise and interference from some source, and the basketball game couldn't be picked up at all. Moving around in the new location, I finally found some areas where the baseball game sort of came in. It was half static and half announcers, and if you could put up with the static, you could listen to the game.

Still, a ball game only fills a few hours of any given day. I needed more of a diversion than that. So I started hunting around the FM dial. I found that two of the music stations I listened to came in fairly well, so that was good. I was looking for at least one more alternative--which is how I stumbled upon the Cooper Lawrence Show.

FM 107.1 is radio station WFMP. I affectionately call it Radio Frump. I happened to tune in to the Cooper Lawrence Show between 7 and 10 p.m. one evening, and within minutes of listening I was laughing out loud. And I MEAN "out loud." That almost never happens, but this stuff was FUNNY.

COOPER LAWRENCE is a relationship and psychology expert with a master's degree in developmental psychology. She is currently finishing her doctorate in applied developmental psychology. She's an author, with her current book being The Cult of Perfection. She has appeared on TV as a relationship expert on shows such as Showbiz Tonight, The Tyra Banks Show, and on the Fox News Channel. She hosts her radio show along with Anthony Michaels and Chad Bowar.

The audio tag for the show is, "It's smart talk about real life"......except, as Anthony Michaels has pointed out, it almost never is that. It's more like chaos, is what it is. The three of them pick on and tease each other so much, you'd think they were related. Since it is a call-in show, they once asked their listeners what the audio intro for the show should be instead of, "It's smart talk....". One listener suggested, "Boobs talking about boobs." (The show, btw, actually made that into an audio introduction and have used it on occasion.) Another listener suggested, "The Cooper Lawrence Show--It's not the end of civilization, but you can see it from here."

I'm seriously considering putting that line somewhere at the top of my blog!

Anyway, as you may have guessed, in spite of Cooper's impressive credentials, they don't take themselves--or much of anything else--too seriously. They crack each other up, and in turn it cracks me up. The humor runs the gamut from sophisticated to about as low as low-brow can get. And as I've mentioned, every weeknight that I listen has me often laughing out loud. The people I work with must be starting to wonder about me.....

So what are the things I learned from the show this week?

Well, I learned that many--not all, but many--song titles are much funnier if you add the words, "When I pee" after the title. So John Cougar Mellencamp's song, "Hurts So Good" becomes, "Hurts So Good (when I pee)". That boy has a problem....

Prince's song becomes, "Purple Rain (when I pee)". Makes you wonder what the man's been drinking.....

The most disgusting example they came up with was a song by Kiss, "Lick It Up." I'll leave you to fill in the rest.

The other thing I learned? It's almost always funny when you change the word, "heart" in any song to "fart". Pat Benetar's well-known song changes from "Heartbreaker" to "Fartbreaker."
Try it with Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart". Or Celene Dion's, "My Heart Will Go On...."

If you go to and look under the "What's Happening" section, you'll see an entry called "Changing Song Lyrics audio". You can play the whole thing back and listen for yourself. There are other audio clips available as well, if you want to explore further. See if you don't crack a smile or two. You can also listen live on-line, or get it on podcast.

You can also check out an alternative site they have set up, "Bob's House Of Meat". If it's still there, listen to The Hamburger Song.

It's gonna be a fun Labor Day Weekend......


Michael said...

Great stuff, Doc. I never heard of her but I'll try to check out the show on the computer. Thanks for the tip. :)


Dr. Ken said...

Michael--You're welcome. It's a fun show, rarely getting too serious. It actually puts me in a good mood at work--and that's saying a lot!