Saturday, March 1, 2008
Friday night I finished work, went to Blockbuster and rented a couple of movies, picked up a pizza, and went home. In retrospect, I should have skipped the pizza. O Waistline, Where Art Thou?
The plan was to eat, drink, and be entertained. I really didn't expect to stumble across a little peek at a spanking scene. But that's what I found.
The movie was The Amateurs, starring Jeff Bridges, Ted Danson, Judy Greer and Lauren Graham, to name a few. Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls) and Judy Greer (Arrested Development) are only in the movie for about 5 minutes, so saying they are "starring" is a bit of a stretch.
Jeff Bridges plays Andy. Andy lives in a small town, and is going through a bad patch. He can't get and keep a job. His wife divorces him, taking his son with him, and now she's with an incredibly rich man who can give Andy's son anything he wants--the boy's room is a basketball half-court, complete with scoreboard. Andy, needless to say, is not happy with where his life is. As he puts it, "I'd had enough of not having enough."
One day he's sitting in the local bar, thinking--always a bad sign--while his friends sit nearby, and he finally makes a decision. He stands up and announces to his friends, "We're going to make a porno!"
It's hardly a new premise for a movie. We've seen it before--high school boys make a porno film; college guys make a porno film. Now it's small town folks make a porno film. Not exactly uncharted territory, here. In the first two examples, though, the plot line is primarily an excuse to trot out a lot of T&A shots and rake in some dough as a Summer release. The Amateurs, however, has something those other films don't--heart.
This is, ultimately, a film about love--love between friends, love of family, love between two people. It's what drives most of the main characters, and some of the minor ones. Even the closest thing this movie has to a villain is motivated by the love he has for his sister. I find it an oddly sentimental and endearing film.
The spanking? Ah, yes. I did mention a little scene, didn't I?
The writer/director in the movie, who is Some Idiot--that's not a judgment, by the way; that's what his friends have named him--and his cameraman have just filmed the obligatory Lesbian scene for the movie (because every good porno has to have at least one good Lesbian scene). The guys are gathered at Andy's to watch the raw footage, and we--as the viewing audience--are watching them watching the film. The two girls that agreed to do the shoot turn out an amazing performance, prompting Andy to proclaim, "We Love Lesbians". As the footage runs, we get a close-up of a bare-bottom spanking taking place. We see a couple of spanks, and then the camera pulls back giving us a better view of the two ladies, one applying the spanks while the other one lies over her lap, her legs bent at the knees and kicking in the air. That's really all we see. There's only a few spanks delivered, and they look very light and playful. Later in the movie, when they start to edit it together, we get another little glimple of the spanking, but it looks very much like the same footage we already saw.
The movie clocks in at 96 minutes. If you're looking for a little light entertainment, you might consider taking a look at The Amateurs. I wouldn't suggest buying it, but you can rent it from your favorite local movie store.
Skip the pizza, though.