The first Chicago Crimson Moon spanking party is coming up fast. My bags aren't packed, but I'm ready to go. (At this point, I know you're worried that I'm going to break into a chorus of Leavin' On a Jet Plane....especially after the recent "Musical Interlude". Let's see, the parody would be "Spanking on a jet plane--don't think they'll let me fly again.....")
Okay, that's enough of that....
I'd like to attend as many parties as possible, but monetarily, it's just not feasible. There's airfare, cab fare, hotel expenses, party admission fees. A weekend of spanking fun can be costly. I usually stick to the Chicago parties, because Chicago is the easiest--and the cheapest--to get to from Minnesota. Shadow Lane in California, Florida Moonshine, the Texas All-State party--these are all terrific venues, but the further I have to go, the more I have to spend on travel. So Chicago wins, hands (palms?) down, and I hope to make three of their parties this year--March, July and October.
Naturally, I can't wait for the first party of the year. If it's Crimson Moon in March, can Spring be far behind? Ah, ice thawing, snow melting, green grass growing, trees budding, warmer weather Spring. After our usual 5 (sometimes 6) months of winter, I always look forward to it.
Well, that and the first spankings of the year, as well.
While March means the first party of the year to me, for others it may be their first spanking party, period. And for some, it's a chance for their first spanking experience, ever! Naturally, those people have all sorts of questions running through their heads, and that's really what this blog entry is about.
The first bit of advice I would give to the newbies would be, "Do your due diligence". Find out what you can about the group hosting the party. For example, there's a link here on the blog to Chicago Crimson Moon. Go there, read the site, read the FAQs, look at the party reviews, read the rules. The more you know going in, the better. If the party host doesn't have a web site, look for a Yahoo group or something similiar. Join the group and use the message boards or chat rooms to ask questions. Network beforehand. Post an informative introduction. "Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be at the party in March" tells us nothing. How old are you? Where are you from? Are you a top, bottom, or switch? Is this your first spanking experience? Or your first spanking party? You don't have to publish an autobiography, but some bits of information do help people get to know you. In return, you get the chance to know a little about some of the people attending the party, and you may even be able to make arrangements to play with someone ahead of time. Do it before the party, and you won't find yourself sitting alone watching people wandering off to play while you're nursing a soda.
If the group hosting the party sends you material, read it. It probably contains vital information that you need to know. They likely have a code of conduct. You should read it and understand what is acceptable, and what isn't. If they have an orientation for newcomers the first night of the party, be sure to attend. They can shed light on any unanswered questions you may have. Find out what the rules are, and follow them.
You might wonder about how you should behave at a spanking party. Well, take the word "spanking" out of it. How do you normally behave at a party? That's what you should do. Be polite, be courteous. Mingle. Introduce yourself to people. You don't need to wear a tuxedo--jeans and a t-shirt are just fine--but the clothes should be neat and clean. Take a shower before the party. Depending on the hotel, you may have close to 100 people mingling in one hospitality suite, so personal hygiene really is important. Use deodorant, people--it's not a new concept!
Your greatest aid to a good time is going to be the other people attending. For example, if you're a female bottom at her first party or looking for her first spanking, talk to the other female bottoms. They can point out potentially good play partners for that first experience, as well as steer you away from someone who may play harder than you'd like, or someone no one knows anything about. The grapevine is active at every party, and it's one of your best resources.
Hopefully, you will find people who want to play with you. It's why you came, after all. But nobody HAS to play with you. Just because they're there doesn't mean they're available. If you ask somebody to play and they say, "No", accept it and move on. They're not being mean and it's nothing you did. They're not rejecting you as a human being, it simple means that they have other plans. They may be attending the party for the sole purpose of meeting with a select few people, or certain old friends. If you're told "no", smile, say "thanks, anyway," and go chat up someone else.
If you do find someone to play with, be sure to talk things out first. Establish a safeword. Go through the negotiations--agree on what is okay. Skirt up or skirt down? Seat of the panties, or is bare bottom spanking okay? Hand only, or can implements be used? If so, which implements? The more you can cover ahead of time, the less likely you'll have a bad experience, or have to keep stopping to talk things over.
You might find yoursefl in a situation where a seemingly normal girl may come up and put an ice cube down your shirt. That's called "bratting", and is almost always an invitation to play. There are "brats" at every party, and you'll see them practicing their art, giving the Tops in turn a chance to practice theirs. But do NOT brat anyone you have no intention of playing with! That's just bad manners. There are also plenty of Tops who don't like to be bratted, and will not respond to it. You can find that out by chatting with them, or you can use the grapevine to find these things out. (If bratting doesn't feel right for you, don't worry.....simply asking someone, "Would you like to play?" is all that's really needed at a party.)
A lot of people go off to their hotel rooms to play, while others will play right there in the hospitality suite. Playing in the middle of a crowd of people may not sound like your thing, but a lot of people feel it's safer, since at a party you're likely playing with someone for the first time and, in some instances, someone you just met an hour ago! If people are playing in public, give them room and let them be. Don't hover. Nobody--especially a bare-bottomed spankee--likes a guy who comes and stands behind them two feet away and just stares. Likewise, don't interfere with or interject yourself into someone else's scene. If two people are busy playing, it really isn't the best time to try and talk to one of them. In other words, use some common sense and don't be rude.
Don't be an obnoxious jerk, either. I know that sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised. I can think of a person or two who have attended parties in the past and who have come in going, "I'm a great Top and I've been spanking women for 23 years and I know exactly what every woman needs and this is the way it should be done and I can do this and I can do that" and blah blah blah. Guess what--you're not the ONLY person who knows how to spank. You're at a party with, oh, 50 other tops. And every one of them could make the same claim, if they were so inclined. And the odds are that the women listening to you go on and on have had a chance to play with those 50 otherTtops before. Guess who they'll choose to go off and play with? Saying what a fabulous Top you are doesn't make you one. If the lady you're playing with says you're a great Top--well, now you're talking. Be an obnoxious jerk at a spanking party? Let me know how that works out for you.....
Do not take liberties. It's a spanking party, not a sex party, and spanking is the only sanctioned activity. Just because someone is willing to go bare-bottom over your knee for a spanking doesn't mean you should feel free to let your fingers do the walking, if you know what I mean. Enjoy the experience, but keep your libido in check.
Finally, a little tip for the spankers. It's something I've been doing ever since I started spanking, and I never thought anything of it until one lady appreciatively commented on it. When you're done playing with someone, it's customary--once all the clothing has been readjusted--to share a hug afterwards, and the spankee usually says, "Thank you." Now, you could, of course, say, "You're welcome", or "It's what you deserved" or some such comment. But when a lady says, "Thank you" to me after playing, I always respond, "Thank you." It's a spanking party, after all--she could be playing with any number of other gentlemen, but she chose me, and I want her to know that I appreciate it.....that I appreciate her. We know you have your choice of other spankers--thanks for flying Dr. Ken.
Good manners lead to a good reputation, and in the Spanking Party world, that can take you a long way!
Spanking parties are not for everyone. It may not be your cup of tea. That's a decision you have to make for yourself. If you do decide it's something you'd like to try--I hope some of what I've written will help. I know I didn't answer all the possible questions you may have--but it's a start.