Monday, January 21, 2008

Spanking? Really??


Just to clarify--we're not talking about parenting tips here. This blog will never be about the spanking of children. I'm talking about spanking as a form of play between two consenting adults....the key word being "consenting". Forget about fantasy--forget about any spanking fiction you may have read. Nobody is being forced into doing anything against their will. Spanker and Spankee are happily engaging in something that fills some sort of need for them-- mental, emotional, physical, or some combination of all three. They're doing it because they want to do it. Period.

(I know I run the risk of being redundant--how many times can I repeat the phrase "adult consensual spanking? But if I'm going to be redundant, what better time than in the first few posts of a new blog?)

I usually divide adult spanking into three large, very broad categories. Some of you may break it down even further, and that's fine. I'm not saying these are the only categories--spanking is way too diverse for that--but three are easy for me to remember. :-) So, from my viewpoint, they go like this:

Spanking for fun.

Also called "just because." This is where your girlfriend comes home from work, gives you a hug and says, "I need a spanking". Maybe she's had a bad day. Maybe she's had a good day. Maybe she's feeling a little stressed and needs relief. Maybe she's just in the mood for some sexy byplay or some erotic foreplay. The reason doesn't matter--it's strictly a case of "'Cause I want to". Frankly, that's good enough for me and I'd be happy to oblige!

Spanking for a reason.

There are some women who simply aren't comfortable with the idea of "just because." They feel there has to be a reason for their spanking. They have to earn it. So a grown woman suddenly turns into a bit of a brat.

It might be something she says. It might be something she does. It might be something she doesn't do. It all boils down to the same thing. She is playfully saying, "I dare you". I dare you to take me in hand. I dare you to take control of my behavior. I'm doing something I know you think I shouldn't--what are you going to do about it?

Of course, if you're reading this, you know what they hope we do about it. But they can't just come out and ask for it. It spoils the fun for them. And in spite of the inevitable spanking they're going to get, the underlying idea is still that it's all good fun.

Why act like a brat? I know one lady who was always the "good girl" when she was growing up. She was the oldest so she had to set a good example. Occasionally, she had to be in charge of her younger siblings. Consequently, she feels like she missed out on a good part of her childhood--the part where she could act out a bit, get in trouble and not be the "goody-goody". Now that she's an adult, she feels like she can make up for lost time. And because she has a husband who spanks her, she never has to worry about her conscience bothering her about anything she might say or do. She can misbehave, be spanked for it and be given a clean slate--and every body's happy.

There are some spankers who don't like the "brat" concept, and want nothing to do with a lady who acts like one. That's their choice. Myself, I think they're missing out.

Spanking for punishment; Domestic Discipline

This is the "serious spanking" category. No light-hearted love taps here.

Perhaps the spanker has some rules laid out. Perhaps the spankee has some area she needs help with--some form of behaviour modification, perhaps. If she breaks the rules--if the behaviour doesn't improve--then she's in for a good old-fashioned pants down bare bottom blistering that she won't soon forget! A lesson is being imparted here. It really is meant to make her think twice about her behaviour in the future and to try and improve.

It sounds serious--but still, it's an arrangement that both parties have entered into willing. They agree on the reasons. They agree on the consequences. It is still about consensual adults.

Why would a woman agree to it? Perhaps because she knows it is something she needs, and something she can't achieve on her own. She needs the structure. She needs the rules and needs to know she will be held accountable. Ultimately, she needs to know that someone cares enough about her to correct her behaviour and to be a guiding force in her live.

There's a scene in the movie Frontier Gal in which Rod Cameron spanks Yvonne De Carlo, and the little girl playing their daughter says something like, "If he spanks you, it means he loves you."

And, really--whether it's for fun, or for a reason, or for real domestic discipline--isn't that what spanking is all about?


Sara said...

Hi Dr. Ken. I just found your blog. Good post! Sara

Dr. Ken said...

Thank you, Sara! And congratulations on being the first person to leave a comment on my blog! Just for that, you win, I'm not really set up to hand out win.....a free spanking? My undying gratitude? No? Oh, well....

Still, I'm glad you enjoyed the post. Share it with your friends--tell them about the blog--and I hope you'll find other posts on here that you like!

I should point out that Sara has her own blog, Finding Sara, and I urge you to go read