"Spank the Virgin"

Many years ago--back when Windows 95 was perfectly adequate for running your computing machine, and a 1 GB hard drive seemed like so much more than you would ever need (in other words, about 1996) a company called 7th Level put out a computer game called Monty Python & The Quest for the Holy Grail, based on the movie of practically the same name.

In my previous post, I talked about the spanking references in the Castle Anthrax scene in the movie. In the computer game, when you reach the castle, you play a small mini-game called, "Spank the Virgin".

The game play is simple--on the monitor is a picture of Sir Galahad in a bed. When the game starts, pictures of women (in the style of Terry Gilliam cut-outs) pop up here and there on the screen: some in lingerie, some nude. In some cases it's not even an entire figure--just a pair of buttocks, for example. As they come up, you try to click your mouse on them. If you succeed, Sir Galahad's arm elongates to where you clicked, there's a smacking sound, and I believe you hear a woman's voice then oohing or owwing or giggling. However, as the name of the game implies, you only get points if you spank the virgins and you lose points if you thwack some other more worldly lass.

How could you tell who was who? The virgins are the ones wearing underwear!

It will probably come as no surprise to you to learn that once I reached this section, I never managed to get any further in the game.....

There really should be more computer games or console games with spankings in them. Oh, I know there are some here and there, but the spanking usually takes place in a cut scene and all you can do is watch as it rolls by. You don't usually get to control the characters or their actions--and that's really where the fun is.

Do you hear that, XBox and Playstation? We want spanking games--start programming them now!

Just imagine how much fun a spanko game could be on the Wii? :-)