Whoever Archie proposes to, I pointed out that he'd better get his spanking arm in shape, because no matter which girl it is, he's going to have his hands full! Since then, I couldn't help but wonder--have our favorite blonde and brunette been spanked in the pages of Archie Comics?
Well, yes.....but as near as I can tell, not by Archie.
Let's start with Veronica.
Veronica Lodge is the dark-haired one. She's rich. She's spoiled. And yes, when you consider all her attempts to land Archie for herself, I think it's safe to say she's definitely a brat in need of some good old-fashioned discipline!
Fortunately for us, her father is an old-fashioned kind of guy.
Hiram Lodge made his money the old-fashioned way, to borrow a phrase from an old TV commercial--he earned it. (Of course, it's possible he made it the other old-fashioned way--he inherited it! Having not read all 500-plus past issues of the comic, I'm a little fuzzy on the details.) As you can see from the upcoming picture, Mr. Lodge doesn't hesitate to do what needs to be done to a misbehaving young lady--and in the middle of a party, no less:
The reactions of the party guests are a very nice mix--some appear shocked, while others are openly laughing at Veronica's comeuppance. I, for one, am in awe of Mr. Lodge's ability to put Veronica over his knees while sitting on absolutely nothing. That's a skill that could come in very handy for a spanker.
Mr. Lodge seems to be laying it on with a heavy hand. I'm sure she behaved herself for a good long time after that session--or until the next issue come out.
Betty is pretty much the opposite of Veronica--which was probably the whole idea to begin with, best shown by the contrast in hair color. Betty Cooper is the Girl Next Door, a Miss Goody-Two-Shoes. She's the sort of girl who would help Archie with his homework--or, more likely, she'd do his homework for him! Heck, she'd probably wash his car and mow his lawn if he asked. The only thing she has in common with Veronica, in fact, is her desire to have Archie Andrews as her boyfriend.
In fact, it appears that the only way Betty could misbehave badly enough to warrent a good bottom-warming is to become possessed by the spirit of a girl named Felicity. The spirit of Felicity's mother, however, does a little possessing of her own, and she knows exactly what her daughter needs:
Not only is Felicity driven out by this painful form of exorcism, but she's told she still has her father to deal with! I'm thinking Felicity is probably due for another spanking when her Dad gets ahold of her.
So, are these the only times our two naughty ladies have been spanked? Maybe, maybe not--they're the only two instances I could find, but that's far from being the same thing. I don't know who is going to wind up with Archie, but I have the same wish for both of these girls--namely, a husband who spanks!
SPOILER ALERT!!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!
If you want to be kept in the dark as to who Archie is going to propose to, stop reading now! Go to a different post, or close this blog down and go to another.
One of my faithful readers--Radha, who has her own blog, Radha Sutra, an excellent blog that you should all be reading--put up a comment on my previous post saying she didn't realize that this 600th issue and Archie's proposing to somebody was such a big deal--until she saw it on CNN! (Can you say, "slow news day"?)
Anyway, CNN reported that, in the middle of a jewelry store, Archie Andrews is going to propose to.........
Now, before we all pop the champagne corks and celebrate a victory for the rich and spoiled girls of the world, let me just point something out--the story of Archie proposing and getting married is set to play out over six issues of the magazine. In order to make the story last that long, I think it's safe to say that there are going to be some twists and turns along the way. Yes, Archie may propose to Veronica--that doesn't necessarily mean that's who he ends up marrying! A lot can happen before the story plays itself out. By the time the final issue comes out, it wouldn't surprise me to read that Archie has decided he's made a mistake, and that it's really Betty that he wants to marry. Or maybe he'll decide that he's still too young to get married, and that it might be a good idea to get a job first and explore life a little. Or maybe he and Jughead will finally come out of the closet and move to San Francisco together. Who knows?
I guess we'll just have to wait and see......