Monday, December 22, 2008

Santa's Tawse Is Going To Town

Well, boys and girls, it's almost Christmas Eve, and you know what THAT means! That's right, it's time for another Spanko Christmas Carol. This time, it's sung to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.'

Enjoy!


SANTA'S TAWSE IS GOING TO TOWN



Oh, you should have watched out
You know that you should
Now you're bent over
And getting it good

Santa's Tawse is going to town

He checked his list
Your name's on it twice!
Now it's "pants down"
And you're paying the price

Santa's Tawse is going to town

Each girl elf in his workshop
Knows Santa's strong right arm
They know their work had best not stop
Or he'll do their bottoms harm

OW!

You should have watched out
You know that you should
Now you're bent over
And getting it good

Santa's tawse is going to town

There's paddles and canes
In his toy pouch
Whackity-whack
And ouchity-ouch

Santa's tawse is going to town

He's spanking away
Just like he oughtta
He's making you feel
Like your bum's a pinata

Santa's tawse is going to town

You wish that you could just hop
Into your snug, warm bed
But Santa said he won't stop 'til
Your bottom is bright red

OW!

You should have watched out
You know that you should
Now you're bent over
And getting it good

Santa's tawse is going
Your behind is glowing
Santa's tawse is going
To town!

16 comments:

Hermione said...

LOL! I will now be able to tolerate that song when it comes on the radio again--in approximately thirty minutes, I would guess.

Hugs,
Hermione

Spanky said...

Now that is destined to be a classic!

Season said...

Oughta/Pinata? ROTFLMAO!!!! :-) Love it!

devlinoneill said...

Hey! I was going to give him grief about the oughta/pinata rhyme, Season! Oh well, as long as it's done ... *G*

Terrific parody, Doc, and yes, Hermione, these much improved lyrics should make the song easier to tolerate for the next few days.

-Dev

Michael said...

Excellent, Dr. Ken. Like Hermione said, now we can substitute your lyrics when the song rolls around in a few minutes and really enjoy it.

Michael

CJ said...

Hey Doc! Another fine song you have written!

Just wondering what shape is your pinata??

:)

Pest said...

Hi Doc! VERY nice song and I LOVED it! Now I can sing this in my head instead of the other song! LOL! But the tawse is an evil implement!

pammie said...

Yes, definitely a Christmas classic with a kinky twist.

pammie

Dr. Ken said...

Hermione--Y'know, ordinarily when I tell a lady that I'll give her something to think about, song lyrics aren't what I have in mind...but I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Spanky--yeah, but a classic what? :-)

Season, Devlin--what's wrong with oughta/pinata? Everybody's a critic.....
As I got to writing this up, I discovered that I actually had one verse too many to use in the song. The other verse went:

He's making you kick
Making you squirm
You can't get away
'Cause he's holding you firm
Santa's tawse is going to town

There's nothing wrong with the verse, it's got some nice evocative imagery going for it. Ultimately, I decided I liked the humor of the "pinata" verse, and so I went with it.

Michael--thank you. And you know they'll be playing that song for a while after Christmas, as well, so you'll probably have my version memorized by the time the season ends.

CJ--I don't have a handy pinata. Would you like to volunteer?

Pest--Print out the lyrics and carry them with you so you're always prepared to sing along!

Pammie--that pretty well sums it up! :-)

Andrades said...

Hi Dr. Ken:
Sorry I'm a day late.
But I'm glad I am cause I got to see the verse you left out:
"He's making you kick
Making you squirm
You can't get away
'Cause he's holding you firm
Santa's tawse is going to town"
I like that verse, especially the holding you firm line.
Thanks for sharing
I am sending you some holiday spirit as I write this
Take Care,
Andrades Girl

Hermione said...

I like that extra verse too! It's a keeper.

Hugs,
Hermione

Mina said...

Well done Dr Ken, it is always fun to pervert a Christmas classic.

Hugs and happy Christmas.

Mina

Radha said...

Now I got your song running around in my head. Happy Holidays, Dr. Ken!
radha

Richard Windsor said...

A very Merry Christmas to you as well, Dr. Ken, hope that you have a wonderful holiday season.

Pest said...

Dr. Ken, I also like that deleted verse. So where would it go if I do print out the lyrics? You could always email me the entire song even the deleted verse! LOL! Merry Christmas, Dr. Ken and to everyone who reads your blog!

Dr. Ken said...

Andrades--thanks. I can always use a little extra Christmas spirit. And I'm glad you liked the extra verse.

Hermione--It's a good verse, but as I said, I've really no place to put. The scheme of the song is "A B B C A B B C A" where A is the repeated stanza (You should have watched out), B B is the two verses, and C is the bridge (the "Each girl elf" and "You wish" part. The extra verse may be a keeper, but there's really no place to keep it.

Mina--I do like to have fun with songs, it's true. Christmas hugs to you, as well.

Radha--you say that like it's a bad thing..... :-)

Richard--thank you, Richard. Great to see you here! And Holly Happydays to you, too.... *G*

Pest--if the extra verse went anywhere, it would go in place of the "pinata" verse.