On Monday, February 18, Bonnie had a post on her My Bottom Smarts blog called, "In with the New: Depths of Winter Edition". In it, she listed 8 fairly new blogs that she wished to introduce to her readership, and urged people to check them out. One of the blogs mentioned was Spanking Minnesota. So, "hi" to anyone who has found their way here thanks to that post, and I'm grateful to Bonnie for including me.
Consequently, the rest of this post will be devoted to the MSB Spanko Brunch question #109: "If we enjoy spankings, how can they be effective as a punishment?"
My answer is, "They can.....or maybe not."
There will be a brief pause for your applause to die down......
Anyone who knows me knows that there are two things I will continually harp on when it comes to spanking in any form: Communication, and mutual consent. When it comes to the idea of using spanking as punishment, the first thing the spanker and spankee need to do is sit down and talk it over. Cover all aspects--everything you can think of. Is it an idea that appeals to both parties? Do both want to try it? If not--if both people don't agree on it--then you can probably give up right there. For some people, spanking is more of a fun game than anything else, or foreplay, or both. It's never been about "real" discipline and that's the way they prefer it. Spanking as punishment? Forget it!
So, for those people--no. Discipline spankings aren't going to work. And it's like anything else--if the mind and the heart aren't in it, why bother?
Now, if all involved do agree that spanking for punishment is perhaps needed and something they want to try--well, they're practically half-way home. Because spanking can work as punishment if both partners want it to work. That may seem simplistic, but hey--I'm good at simplistic. :-)
It would work because a punishment spanking is different from the normal fun and games, and your mind can tell the difference, so it processes the experience in a different way. The sense of anticipation is different. The approach to it is different. The way you think about it is different. The feelings produced before, during and after are different. This lets you put the "spanking as fun" idea aside and lets you focus on the punishment aspect. If you have the proper mindset--then it will work. (That does sound a bit like, "If you build it, they will come", doesn't it? Still......)
There are things you can do to help that mindset along. Stay away from those things associated with the "fun" spankings. For purposes of illustration, let's assume the spankee is female. If she has a favorite position--OTK, for example--use a different position for a punishment spanking. Bent over a table, say, or kneeling on the sofa. Does she have a favorite implement? Don't use it. Go for the toys that she "hates", or at the very least, doesn't like very much. Scold or lecture more. A good lecture can really set the mood and put her in the proper frame of mind. Almost anything that emphasizes the punishment aspect of what you are doing and minimizes her comfort zone will work. You get the idea.
If you both approach it properly, then spanking for punishment can be effective. And the mindset is the key. Because you all know where a good spanking starts, don't you?
Between the ears.