Tuesday, February 5, 2008

"It's a Short/Tall/Fat/Thin/Big/Small World After All"

I like Spanking websites. If you're reading this, you probably enjoy them, too. They're usually filled with good-looking models, excellently posed photos, and (hopefully) well-lit and expertly filmed video clips. The plots may have a hole or two, and the acting probably won't win any awards, but each is sufficient to convey a variation of the standard spanking scenario and to depict it for the viewer in glorious Spank-O-Vision.

I think, though, that some guys look at these sites and come away with false expectations.

Now, most of us--the majority of us, probably--have our heads screwed on straight and accept these web sites for what they are: a somewhat idealized vision of the spanking scene and the spanking community. We know that these sites use good-looking models for their productions as opposed to the average Joe or Josephine because they want to attract viewers and members. We get it. We're not deluding ourselves.

But there are guys who buy into the illusion . They look at these websites (perhaps a bit too often) and they begin to believe that the ladies shown are typical of what they should expect to find in the spanking community, or at a spanking party. They've bought the hype. They drank the Kool-Aid. The fault lies not with the sites, Horatio, but with themselves.

I know a lot of people in the scene, and I've been to spanking parties--like those hosted by Shadow Lane, for example, or the parties put on by Chicago Crimson Moon. And there are, indeed, some stunning women who attend (and some really handsome men, too--just to cover all the bases). But truthfully, they tend to be in the minority. The vast majority of us are...well...pretty normal-looking. Nonetheless, I've seen guys come into a party, sit in a chair with their arms folded, not joining in, not taking part in the conversations flowing around them, just sitting and waiting. And for what? For some supermodel to throw herself over their lap, apparently. And in the meantime, they ignore a perfectly wonderful, perfectly spankable lady standing or sitting only a few feet from them. And why? Because she doesn't look like one of those supermodels in the spanking videos.

Here's a news flash for people like that: Spankers and Spankees come in all shapes and sizes. We're an amazingly diverse group of people. Probably the majority of us could be described as "average". The female spankees are not all gorgeous faces and killer bodys. The spankers are not all tall, dark and handsome. (I, for one, am kind of short, squat, and somewhat troll-like....)

We're big. We're short. We're fat. We're skinny. We have wavy hair. We're bald. We have a dynamite smile. We wear dentures. We're all over the map when it comes to who we are and what we look like. Very, very few of us will ever be asked to be in a video. Very few of us are supermodels. We're more like the neighbor down the street, or the girl not next door but two doors down from that. And one thing I've learned through the years--we're all, for the most part, an extremely friendly, open, warm and welcoming group of people.

And if you can't see that because you're busy waiting for someone with movie star looks--boy, are you missing out!


Dave said...

Fantastic post, Dr. Ken.

I've never thought about this issue nor have I seen this blogged about anywhere.

Interesting to me especially, perhaps as I"ve never been to a spanking party, but you raise a lot of interesting points here about expectations and such...much food for thought here.


Indiana said...

This is a really interesting post. I get a little annoyed at spanking videos with very attractive women and normal looking guys, as I figure we women are entitled to our fantasies, too. You know, like being spanked by Clive Owen :-). Then I saw a film with a guy I found very attractive spanking a woman I didn't find so attractive, and that didn't work for me, either. That made me realize that imagining myself as somebody like Amelia Jane Rutherford was part of the fantasy, too.


Dr. Ken said...

DAVE -- Thanks. I attend at least a couple of spanking parties each year, and I know the people attending range from the skinny to the large and fluffy. I happen to be a larger-sized person myself, so maybe I'm a little more sensitive to it.

INDIANA -- I'll drop Clive a note and let him know you're interested... :-)

Anonymous said...

Thank You for a informative post. I really want to attend one of the Shadow Lane or Crimson Moon events with my husband but I am worried that I will be out of place.I have just turned 50 and am feeling kind of blue about getting older. *smiles* I have been a *closet spanko* most of my life and at this point I would really like to meet with others who know how I feel.